Stop the Presses!

My blog is ruining my life. Until a week ago, I was skipping happily along, minding my own mindless business. Oblivion encased me. Yeah, I’d read the news—but only about an article a day.

That’s all changed.

I’m an addict now. My drug is information. I’m a crack-hungry monster searching for another bit of news to reference on this page. Consider yourself warned. It snuck up on me fast. It could get you, too. I’m a million times better informed than I was a week ago. But I don’t know how to stop. The world is spinning and I can’t catch the sun.

So, let me ask you, dear readers: when do you stop reading the news and start your real life?

Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner?

I know I’m late to party, but please go listen to Keane’s “Bend & Break” and Snow Patrol’s “Chocolate.”

There. I admitted I was the last to know.

(If you’re reading this and thinking, I’m actually the penultimate person because you’re the last person to know, don’t worry. I’ve already taken the blame. Just go out and listen before anyone finds out.)

Comedy & Tragedy

May I direct your attention to serious news that makes me laugh.

“I’m president,” says Toga poll loser. If only it were always that easy.

Michael Jackson’s ex-wife to testify against him. One legal analyst says “She's going to be given instant credibility because of who she is, her relationship with Jackson, and what she may know.” Hmmm… can choosing to marry Michael Jackson give anyone credibility?

And if you believe in signs from God: PM Tony Blair’s plane was struck by lightning yesterday, the second time that’s happened. The first occurred during a trip to Washington.

Quote of the Day

Today’s weather reveals: “There will be some embedded pockets of locally moderate rain.” Not just good ol’ everyday pockets! Embedded pockets.

Complicated Headlines

Though not a newsflash, it bears repeating: every piece of news has its spin. Below, some examples.

“The U.S. count of major world terrorist attacks more than tripled in 2004…” (Caveat: More may have been counted in 2004 than 2003 because of additional U.S. scrutiny of such attacks).

One number we were accurately counting a year ago: insurgency attacks in Iraq. “The chairman of the US joint chiefs of staff said there were 50 to 60 attacks a day, the same level as one year ago.” (Caveat: half of them are thwarted.)

In July, Michelle Wie (age 15) could become the first female golfer to play in the St. Andrews Open in Britain. (Caveat: first she must be the highest placing golfer who hasn’t already earned a place at St. Andrews at the John Deere Classic in Illinois—an unlikely event.)

Fourteen alleged mobsters were arrested and charged in Chicago. (Caveat: Two others are on the run, and police have released pictures of them older than The Godfather.)

And my favorite: Self-hypnosis could banish hay fever. (Caveat: the improvement was not drastic and could have been because of chance alone.)

A New Deal

So here’s a question for Democrats: is it possible to shun something, not follow that up with a call to action and not look weak?

Case #1: Let’s say we follow the lead of Joe Lieberman and agree that some Hollywood movies are too violent for youngsters. Then let’s say we (drum roll please) do nothing about it—in other words agree that children need limitations but Hollywood does not. That there is danger in the world of all kinds, but the federal government’s role should be informing parents of those dangers—from seatbelt safety to effects of violence on children—through research and funded outreach. Protect us from the dangers we can’t protect ourselves from, say, hatred in the Middle East.

Case #2: We could examine the sad situation of Terri Schiavo and agree it’s sad. And agree that it’s not a black and white issue. We could say that we wish we could absolutely know what Terri’s wishes would have been, since those are the ones we’d want to follow first. But then we could agree that we have something in place to handle these kinds of tough, unfortunate decisions of balancing a husband’s and parents’ wishes: it’s called a court system. And leave it at that. If we’re not going to trust the courts to get things right (and wrong), why have them?

Case #3: In turn, we could look at school prayer, and recognize that we may not agree with it. That it might be offensive (just as some television shows and radio programs are to conservatives). And yet allow such decisions to be made at a state or even local level as well as through the courts who are commissioned to guard against prejudice. School prayer is not killing anyone. Industrial pollution is. Let’s act when safety is on the line or when states cannot do the job equally (such as was the case with desegregation).

We could call this movement Anti-Big Government. I know, I know. This is the Republicans rallying cry, but they abandoned it several years ago with ballooning federal spending and policies like the No Child Left Behind Act. Perhaps it’s time to reclaim it with a twist: we want anti-fear, too. Don’t make us fear R-rated movies, loose lips on the radio and Superbowl nipples. Don’t be so pro-life as to make us fear death. And don’t make us fear those who think so differently from us, polarizing left and right, East and West. Because I believe they’re wrestling with the same issues we are.

Just the early version of an idea, partially inspired by Matt Bai. I’m sure there are holes. Thoughts?

Kids These Days

So here’s a dilemma for parents of teenage daughters. You thought their cold looks and brusque behavior were just them going through “that phase.” Maybe not. A new study suggests it could be ‘roid rage you’re witnessing.

At the highest rates ever, 5 percent of high school girls and 7 percent in middle school have tried steroids. What’s craziest is why: to build muscle and lose weight. Guess they’re not thinking much about the other side effects: deepening voice, flat chest and facial hair! It’s not surprising these are the same girls with body image problems and eating disorders.

The real question is where these kids are finding them. Steroids are now controlled substances, requiring a prescription to get them—all except one: DHEA. Thanks to some politics from Utah Senator Orrin Hatch, DHEA received exemption despite being banned by NFL, NBA and the Olympics. Do I even need to mention that Utah is a major player in the diet supplement industry?

Now Major League Baseball, which has not forbidden DHEA, is pointing the finger at Congress in D.C. hearings regarding juiced players, asking how it can control something the Congress doesn’t ban (hmm… the NFL and NBA managed to do it…). Too bad MLB makes about as much effort as Cracker Jack prizes.

Finally, anyone else find it weird that when you search for DHEA in The New York Times, which first covered the chemical’s exclusion from controlled substance lists, ads to purchase DHEA come up? Just $13.95 for 180 capsules. So if I’m in a temper this week…

Health: From Bad to Good

Nothing stays bad for long in the health world. While chocolate and wine were once abused for their fat and alcohol content (respectively), they’ve made a resounding comeback. Now everyone knows that chocolate has antioxidants (still don’t know what those are exactly) and wine, particularly red, can lower blood pressure

Now daycare has joined the pack. Once maligned for germs and child abuse, a new study suggests it can prevent cancer in children. Just for that, we’ll point out a recipe for chocolate-covered matzo.

Gotta Love the Pope

In a moment of who died and left you king (oh, wait … that’s right), newly named Pope Benedict XVI has denounced a bill in Spain that would allow gay marriage and gay adoption. The Pope’s spokesperson called the bill “iniquitous” (as in den of iniquity), a word that doesn’t get used nearly enough. Here, my suggestion for some headline rewrites:

• ABC exposé finds Fox’s Idol iniquitous
• Rice tells Russia ‘You’re iniquitous’
• After iniquitous morning, DeLay condemns Dems

Generation Rx

Finally, a little news on what teens are up to these days (other than changing the world): prescription drugs. Yeah, Oxycontin! Most telling: “Fewer than half the teens—48 percent—said they saw ‘great risk’ in experimenting with prescription medicines.” I'll share a little more research on this topic in the next couple of days.

In the meantime, two mythbusters for you: #1: Oxycontin is a serious pain control medication that helps millions in chronic pain or at end of life with few side effects (though there are some); #2: You cannot become addicted to Oxycontin or morphine or similar substances if they are meeting your pain needs. When your body is in pain, it uses the effects of these drugs to stem that, not to get you high.

Pyramid Schemes

Remember when the dietary guidelines were four food groups? I think I still had naptime every day. But the eating suggestions from the U.S. Department of Agriculture changed in 1992 to a pyramid and (three cheers!) have just been updated again—to another pyramid. (Where are the trapezoid advocates?) A quick calculation using their online tool says I need 6 ounces of grains a day, though I couldn’t tell you how much that really is. I’d understand percentages better: 30% grains; 20% fruits; 20% vegetables; 20% daily; 10% meats, totaling an 1800 calorie diet. Too bad my diet’s closer to 75% grains; 5% vegetables; 5% dairy; 15% sugar. Yum! Calculate your own diet needs so you, too, can feel guilty for not eating enough beans.

If you didn’t hear it here, how would you know: “The MyPyramid symbol, which is deliberately simple, is meant to encourage consumers to make healthier food choices and to be active every day.” A picture is worth a thousand words, it would seem.

Another pyramid scheme: Healing Foods Pyramid emphasizes munchies that help prevent obesity, heart disease and cancer. This, too, is interactive. Anyone with diet success/crash-and-burn stories?

Alaskan drilling

Did you miss it? We're killing animals today in congress through something I like to call greed. The scariest sentence (this from AP): "The House bill also would shield the makers of MTBE, a gasoline additive that has prompted dozens of lawsuits over drinking water contamination, from defective product liability claims." It all comes down to DeLay, who insisted the protection be added but is in a bit of polluted hot water himself. Now on to the senate, where Democrats are threatening filibuster, but is it any surprise that Republicans are trying to take it away (at least from judicial nominations). Seems awfully convenient. Something tells me that if the situation were reversed, it'd be Democrats trying to remove their filibuster right and Republicans crying foul. Which to me is a sure sign that something should stay: because it's part of the checks and balances that help make each party a little more equal.

Broken for You

There's a book I absolutely must recommend. It's a chick book, so the rest of you can avert your eyes. Broken for You is the story of a woman who is lost, chasing after the wrong things, and still trying to figure herself out. Sound familiar? When she meets an older woman with a terminal illness who is ready to share her house but not her history, the young heroine begins, slowly, to find new places to look for answers and redemption.

If breaking plates against a floor, Holocaust remembrance and bowling seem to have no right being in one story, read this book to prove yourself wrong.

(Full disclosure, I work for the company that publishes this book, which would normally keep me from recommending it. Consider that a boost to this review's value.)

first post

I did it! I finally started a blog.

Now... I just have to think of what to say...